haiz... guess living in this world really hard man... haiz...yesterday really so heart broken man.... i areaady try to stand all the pain and tears.... why you wan me to torture like that why.... haiz... i just wanna go KL and help daddy only ... why you wan me to have this kind of feelings...why???? i have aready told you few month ago i'm going to KL just to help daddy for only 2 month... why cant you let me go... haiz... out of sudden you suddenly open one shop... and you said that why i go help daddy and don't help me... my god.... hey... really unfair for daddy man... i know you wan me to stay... but dun use this kind of word to say to me... really hurts man... fuXX it... what the hell... did you know how much pain i had to face it... you know how hurt and pain i need to face it? to see both of you having another partner....i aready try to accept the truth aready... why cant ya... damn it... most hurt when you said... 'OKAY THEN IF YOU WAN GO KL THIS FRIDAY DEN GO THEN... YOUR 900BUCKS NO NEED I RETURN FOR IT..'' what the helll i aready not enough money... i buy stuff and i borrowed money to ya... and my salary... really damn unfair and doesn't mean you wan me stay me like that... damn it... most hurt when she said that ''WHY YOU WAN GO NOW? WHY CANT LATER? WHO GONNA FETCH NELSON? YOU WAN MAKE ME MORE SAN FU IZZIT? YOU WAN MAKE BOTH OF US TIRED IZZIT?'' WHAT THE HELL... I REALLY SO DAMN PISS OFF OF THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE ALREADY... I'M SICK OF IT... i not your maid or puppet... what the hell you wan ? haiz... i do adore you... and i already try become the best and aready try to become tough ... and also try to become the good gal... and listen to you... but how could you treated me like this.... you dun wan me continue study and wan me straight away learn business i really cant do it... cause i really wan feel the friends feelings.... i wanna have normal life like others normal student normal.... have a lots of friends and share the laugh and cry together... not sitting alone at the corner and push away all the fun from friend... what the hell... i always push away all my friend invite me... but guess i think i push a lots... that's why now i feel so lonely and more sad man... recently i need to have pils like panadols and flu medicine to make me sleep...cause i had nightmare recently and really hard to sleep.... i do jealous why you all got thr friend when you need it... and have the fun together... i do miss all the time together when with friends... haiz... really dunno why felt so lonely... haiz.... if i tell my boy about it... i know he will start thinking that why cant i tell him this.... i'm sorry... not to say not dun wan tell you... just... i dun wan you sad and even though i tell you... you'll said i'm not mature... cause you not me.... you cant know how it feels like and how much pain i'm going thru.... and how much tears i fall ... haiz... really so sad and felt left out... and so sad and tired to face it... i'm tired to become their daughter... i'm tired of it
... really so sad and face it... haiz...
... really so sad and face it... haiz... 
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