*si@nz... i told de.. i'm the one who really hard predict...

really no idea... what the heck i listen really kinda really feel so disappointed... and dunno others mix feels too.. i know... mum are still my mum... she raise me... and do this... but.. sometimes i really cant stand that i kept secret for her... and getting blame... or even using me to help her... or even she now destroying family where i having now... really enough for this de... after what she did... although i know family are the closest person... but... seems like to me... she's dun really care about it.. she care about money and wealth... luxury... haiz... as me and my bro's keeping quiet.. even my stepfather.. still on her side... just that... since young... mum cares bro than me... even my dad... really so obvious that since young they did for so long... but i also dint care much.... or know about it... as long as i'm still taking care of my bro's enuf de... i got care for her... but how much did she care for me? yea she did care for me... but she really over do it... by forcing... accountancy.. to catering... and now interior design? really dunno how many times i need to listen to her... dad told me to be careful what my mum will do..i'm a person who care family than friends... but... sometimes i do really disappointed that .. stepfather or even mum said that i care outsider ... friends or even loves one... damn it... monday to sunday everyday at home... or office work... by doing nothing... sometimes i really thinking i'm i doing the right thing... helping her like this by destroying my own dreams ???just to fulfills her wish...???? haiz... she got care meh... even i sick... i go see doc my self... even bro sick i taking care if bro but she??? haiz.. even got time she go shopping only... and she always said to others ppl... i'm doing this job just because of interest... not for money... den another face that she told us 3... she said she do this for us... haiz... for what... i know you did this... but... family already got few business de... electronics... and accountancy de... what for need so much.. we can earn money fast... but only that will destroying family feels only... a lots of argument... and others stuff.., or even understanding...you know... since young ... dad already went to KL for a long time... just work... i nt really see him so much...yea.. i know .. and i do know he did wrong.. got mistress outside... i dun really care.. yea... i do hate him a while.. for not coming back.. and did this... destroying family... actually i do appreciate family feels.. but... haiz... things really doesn't goes very well... hiaz... lost the family feels for so long de... that's why keeping inside so long... without telling all out... who .. or someone or a child just wan a simple wish that... just wanna have perfect family... enjoying... and communicate.... haiz.. forget it.. i know... maybe you'll might feels that i selfish or maybe coward... or what so ever... but... i guess no one will und how would i feels for a time being... cause too much things keeping inside... and i really dint know how to speak all out...all this just part of it... better stop saying... *life really really unpredictable..trying to facing what is in front... and try so finish the day... trying to make life better... and happier... on that day... even though going thru a hard time...but... really so hard to facing all this... ALONE....