yesterday

*yet.. another damn boring day... haiz... wondering i can go back gopeng eat back home cook food not.. but guess it's a no... mum seems like so excited... damn it.. really hate to say it.. grandma ask grandpa called... ask lou tao got go back eat anot.. den mum said to lou tao... if you promise den you dun find me... bla bla bla.. den lou tao said no.. den .. grandma said... she made our favourite wan tan... haiz... lou tao i guess he was force to say no... den mum called me .. said to me about it... haiz... damn it de la.. she like so excited... happy ...she even said dai sei le.. who ask them tak zui tou her wo...WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.. cruel... to me.. really sad..AND FEEL SO GUILTY...haiz... afternoon.... me and mum go factory office there.. then.. like normal they'll talk a bout business and others stuff... den back into car... she go compare me.. and her.... said .. you see.. she so clever... what also know.. den said to me... she wan me learn things from her and taech her back.. and even compare to her buy learning things.. said that why i so stupid and many... haiz... till night dinner at pizza hut.. haiz... said me again ... said.. why you so stupid so useless... why cant you become like that gal... really dissappointed to you... haiz... many le.. den said why each time i say things you only know say oh ooh oh ... haiz.. dunno ar... FUXK it... haiz.. hate it alots...and even she said that.. me betral her... same gang with gopeng.. dun help her.. where by... i keep stay at her side.. listening her obey... what can i say more... damn it.. till back gopeng... i ganti my grandma place a while... play with my auntie and neighbour... both also same like me.. said.. i have no choice... since mum also wan i follow up...and dun wan me work out... haiz.. many la..so damn frustrated... accually during i pizza hut there i almost take the knife or even runaway from it... haiz... back home... really cried.. dunno why .. feels like so stupid why i cant defend for myself... and being so damn stupid....I HATE MYSELF....