心臓ブレーカ

what i can say about now... recently.... too much to tense off.. everything had been control by my Mum... my career and future it's all decide aready... too my much pain i had aready... all diffrent kind feels i had it aready... still wonder why always like that.....why i hadn't a choice to choose... why others ppl can have the feel of family... but why i cant feel anything at all... i always sit alone at home... speachless... to talk... now aready 18... makes me feel like 8 .... always being control... haiz... why? too much pain i had... this few weeks really dunno why... every night hide in my blanky and out of sudden my tears started to fall... i wish i could lost my memories... alll.... at once...how good is that if really happen....