haiz... another moody day i guess...

yesterday celebrate my belated b'day and dear's going to NS soon... reallly gonna miss her...and yesterday we had our dinner at sushi king... and watch movie at night... "Drag me to hell" gess... that freaking movie kinda scares me a lots man... what the heck ... till my neck pain ... what the heck/....what la... that time at night ... i was driving alone... kinda scare... cause i'm alone.. but really dunno y when i was driving that time really scares me.. freak me... hehe... but anyway... i reach home safely... in the morning i wake... gees.. neck still pain... really kinda lazy... cause going to work... afternoon i meet my boy... and bought a guitar and tuner... cost around 200sum.. but... dunno why i can feel that his eyes like red red... dunno wheather my clothing or money... haiz... really kinda hurts me ... dunno why...haiz... i know his care me... but... really dunno why i'm the one who is sad... on saturday... i really wanna find someone to talk too... cause i that time i had a lots in my mind... accually on that day i waited him till 2sum am... haiz... he reply me once that time aready 1 sum.. i dint notice the phone cause i was doing somethinf else... but... really dunno why... each time i need him... mostly he not with me... kinda makes me more sad ... but sometimes... i do feel happy when i'm with him... only depends... haiz... really kinda a lots in my mind now... almost each night i cried... but i also dunno cry for what ... really... hate myself...i dunno...haiz... hiaz... out of sudden lou tao said me and him might be broke up... i really duno why... but that word kinda freaks me a lots... haiz... makes me sometimes really wanna feel alone... reallyy afraid of it... haiz... all also going de... nothing has left... one of my friend said i had change a lots... where i aready change to more emo and cool... and doesn't know the value of a friends... haiz... maybe i do hurts a lots ppl i guess.. that's why make me feel so lonely i guess... i dunno... who knows... alone in the room... looking to 4walls... really... haiz... make me more scare and letting me down... last time i use to be very tough.. but once i'm getting older i dun think i can be so tough anymore... it's like getting more weak and weak... dunno why...did i really change?