*gees..replace blog for wed...

yesterday i write all this de... little emotion yesterday.. when after i finish write the blog suddenly i accidentally deleted the whole thing.. haiz... waste... neway... haiz... i can tell some that on wed.. haiz... like normal mum scold me everyday.. on that day i really so get scolded badly till i cant stand.. yet i still not speaking anything out... till she ask me what in my mind thinking... said that me not concentrate of what i'm doing.. bla bla and bla... haiz.. till she ask me what's my purpose that i work at her shop.. i told her i wanna try help her.. and i haven finish say anything she one word jau say "you at here or not i dun need your help... THE MORE I SEE YOU THE MORE I VERY KEK HEI... THE MORE FAN I SEE YOU" haiz.. what do you expect.. after listen what she say all this..haiz... really feel so disappointed after listen to it... i already forget my career and try to help her because of her health condition... haiz.. dunno what in her mind.. i dun mind she sscold me or what i'm just trying to und this in this career... i dun have experience what do yo expect i got... she even said that ''why you din't you your stupid head... why you din't use common sense'' haiz... really so damn fan de... after what she say and tell... on afternoon.. she quarrel with lou tao about lunch.. even small problem also quarrel.. den ... night quarrel with my gu jie.. till separate business.. haiz.. why things going on like that.. i notice that .. since she enter this career she become more cruel... and yet.. at night my tong mui called me.. asking me how's my condition.. and others.. she said her mum told her that i always at office cry at corner... den ask her talk with me.. i talk half way my tears keep falling till cant stop keep sobbing.. haiz.. she said she scare i got ''yao what jing'' depressions... haiz... always hide and cry... keep things.. haiz.. what to do... she mum my.. i cant defend cause i scare her health and heart attack... haiz.. i try to und de.. but seems like i'm trouble maker for her...that time i got think of do stupid things.. but i din't ... really so tired of it.. haiz.. den lou tao came in my room.. ask me why i'm crying..i said nothing den he keep ask. den i told her.. even he said mummy really over do de.. den soon not gonna help her much de.. she dun realize that what happen after... haiz...all also scare my condition now...cause.. too many sadness inside de... and being middle person for all.. haiz.. all also can feel my thing why cant my mum cant feel.. den when down for dinner she ask me do i still wan to work? den i said maybe no .. just let me think about it 1st.. haiz.. den last word she said that me & gujie are same... both also ''tong cin jok doi'' anti money.. haiz.. to me... if i get jor money yao how la.. mai same like normal human jek ma... what do you expect...money really kills a lots ppls...even dear said .. not scare my mum masuk hospital.. is me who will masuk hospital.. haiz... at night all wanna go to bed de.. i heard lou tao calling mum...wake up... haiz.. mum fainted.. heart attack back again... haiz.. fainted few times... haiz.. too stressful de with this kind of fucking life... i dunno i wanna do what now.. just blank.. complicated... so damn heartache.. that day really the most worst day ever..