*haiz.. during the night after dinner & today's

gees.. disaster start again.. damn it.. yesterday night really feel so bad mood once my mum & lou tao said that i care my own friends than the family.. DAMN IT...SINCE WHEN I DID THAT TO THEM...seems to be is my mum doing that .. how could it happen... i told mum i wan to go see ivan band.. den so coincident at the same date also my dear b'day too.. we did plan going to genting for celebrate it... but.. haiz... den mum one one jau say... who's important your bro or your friends... haiz.. no need say la sure your friend and your bf than family.. DAMN IT... IF I DUN CARE THE FAMILY AR... I WONT BE SO GUAI LISTEN TO HER DAMN ORDER AND STAYING AT HERE HELPING HER LA... JUST TO FORGET MY DREAM AND WASTING MY FUCKING TIME TO HELP HER MEH... HAIZ... that's why i already waste my time a lots... and she keep wan me to help her with the business.. accountant.. interior design or electronics... damn it.. all i also dun like it... how would i do it... even today in morning she scolded me that why my observation so slow... bla bla and bla.. tiu... really so frustrated when i listen those things.. what also she say... haiz... i hate myself why i couldn't defend for myself... haiz... why i need take care or her... why not me.. seems like since i back from KL she doesn't like me much jor... keep scold and putting those blame on me.. all... haiz.. yesterday i almost punch to the window... or wanna take a smoke... really so damn wasting my time... even i sick... also non of my family care or knows about it la.. doc said that i'll be easy tired and thinking little slow... haiz... really ... so frus de.. today what she say for a few times... plus yesterday... really kinda killing me already... so headache... haiz... no longer like last time so brave and strong... just feel like i'm a puppet to her de... life really no meaning like that...